1
00:00:17,397 --> 00:00:21,197
Thanks for the lift, Charlie.
Pick me up around 9:00
tomorrow morning.

2
00:00:26,106 --> 00:00:28,666
Lily, pussycat is home.

3
00:00:33,647 --> 00:00:36,741
Good evening, dear.
Good evening, dear.

4
00:00:36,817 --> 00:00:39,377
I see the carpool
dropped you off again.

5
00:00:39,453 --> 00:00:42,650
Yes, and it was quite
restful riding in the back.

6
00:00:47,961 --> 00:00:50,259
Oh! Mail, dear?

7
00:00:50,330 --> 00:00:53,299
No, but it's something
I'm very upset about.

8
00:00:53,367 --> 00:00:56,495
I was putting up
some new cobwebs
in Marilyn's room,

9
00:00:56,570 --> 00:01:00,734
and I, um, accidentally found this
hidden in her bureau drawer.

10
00:01:00,807 --> 00:01:03,503
Oh, a love letter.
[Laughs]

11
00:01:03,577 --> 00:01:06,068
Let's read it.
Herman,
it's not a love letter.

12
00:01:06,146 --> 00:01:09,547
It's an announcement
of a parents' night
at Marilyn's school.

13
00:01:09,616 --> 00:01:12,949
It's next Saturday night
and she hasn't even asked us yet.

14
00:01:13,019 --> 00:01:17,752
I have a feeling she doesn't
want us to be seen at her school
for some strange reason.

15
00:01:17,824 --> 00:01:21,123
And I think we ought to get
to the bottom of this at supper.

16
00:01:21,194 --> 00:01:23,355
Well, it may not be
that serious, Lily.

17
00:01:23,430 --> 00:01:25,660
L-It may just have
slipped her mind.

18
00:01:25,732 --> 00:01:27,927
Things are always
popping out of my head.

19
00:01:28,001 --> 00:01:31,334
Yes, but with you,
we can always put them back in.

20
00:02:38,805 --> 00:02:40,739
Now remember, Herman,

21
00:02:40,807 --> 00:02:45,574
we have to find out why Marilyn
hasn't mentioned parents' night
at school.

22
00:02:45,645 --> 00:02:48,113
But we have to be
very subtle about it.

23
00:02:48,181 --> 00:02:50,274
Be very subtle. I see.

24
00:02:52,285 --> 00:02:54,344
How do we do that?

25
00:02:54,421 --> 00:02:56,446
Well, we lead up
to it gradually.

26
00:02:56,523 --> 00:03:00,186
First I'll bring up
the subject of cars.
Cars.

27
00:03:00,260 --> 00:03:03,718
That'll lead to driving.
Driving.

28
00:03:03,797 --> 00:03:09,235
And then I'll bring up
the subject of driving to school.
Driving to school. Of course.

29
00:03:09,302 --> 00:03:11,532
And that'll lead up to...

30
00:03:11,605 --> 00:03:13,766
[Together]
Parents' night.

31
00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:16,240
Gotcha.
[Door Opens]

32
00:03:16,309 --> 00:03:20,109
Oh, my! Everything looks
so delicious, Lily.

33
00:03:20,180 --> 00:03:22,148
Oh, thank you,
Grandpa.

34
00:03:27,387 --> 00:03:29,252
[Clears Throat]

35
00:03:32,092 --> 00:03:36,051
Uh, Marilyn, how do you feel
about the new cars?

36
00:03:36,129 --> 00:03:39,155
New cars?
Well, I think that...

37
00:03:39,232 --> 00:03:41,928
And how come you didn't
ask us to parents' night at school?

38
00:03:44,237 --> 00:03:47,673
Parents'night? Well,
where did you hear about that?

39
00:03:47,741 --> 00:03:51,040
Well... Well, dear,
I was dusting your room,

40
00:03:51,111 --> 00:03:53,545
and I just happened
to come across the invitation.

41
00:03:53,613 --> 00:03:56,480
It's, uh, next Saturday night,
isn't it?

42
00:03:56,550 --> 00:03:59,883
Yes, Marilyn.
Don't try to hide anything.

43
00:03:59,953 --> 00:04:04,356
You know, in this family
nothing ever stays buried.

44
00:04:04,424 --> 00:04:06,551
The reason I didn't mention it
was because...

45
00:04:06,626 --> 00:04:09,356
Well, because of you,
Uncle Herman.

46
00:04:09,429 --> 00:04:14,298
Me? Well, why wouldn't you
want me, of all people,
to go to parents' night?

47
00:04:14,367 --> 00:04:16,835
Well, I just didn't think
you'd care for it.

48
00:04:16,903 --> 00:04:19,394
It's going to be sort of
a dinner dance.

49
00:04:19,472 --> 00:04:22,407
Oh. [Chuckles]
Dancing.

50
00:04:22,475 --> 00:04:26,844
Why didn't you say so?
Dancing has never been
one of my strong points.

51
00:04:26,913 --> 00:04:30,076
I guess you could say
I have two left feet.

52
00:04:30,150 --> 00:04:33,813
Well, that's what happens
when they put someone
together in the dark.

53
00:04:34,821 --> 00:04:36,288
Herman,

54
00:04:37,891 --> 00:04:39,825
I think we should go.

55
00:04:39,893 --> 00:04:43,795
I mean, at your age,
it's high time you took up dancing.

56
00:04:43,863 --> 00:04:47,731
Lily, you know I hate dancing.
I've always hated to dance.

57
00:04:47,801 --> 00:04:53,239
I'm not going through with it.
I am not going down there
at the risk of making a fool out of myself.

58
00:04:53,306 --> 00:04:55,706
I am not going dancing!

59
00:05:01,982 --> 00:05:04,075
And one, two, three.

60
00:05:04,150 --> 00:05:08,143
One, two, three.
One, two, three.

61
00:05:08,221 --> 00:05:10,348
One, two, three. One...

62
00:05:10,423 --> 00:05:13,620
Herman. Herman, relax.
You're so stiff.

63
00:05:13,693 --> 00:05:15,752
Yeah, Herman, let everything go.

64
00:05:15,829 --> 00:05:17,763
Well, I'll-I'll try,

65
00:05:17,831 --> 00:05:20,959
but the last time I let everything go,
some of it didn't come back.

66
00:05:25,271 --> 00:05:28,900
One, two, three.
One, two, three.

67
00:05:28,975 --> 00:05:31,705
One, two, three.

68
00:05:31,778 --> 00:05:36,579
One, two, three.
One, two...

69
00:05:39,486 --> 00:05:41,750
One, two, three.

70
00:05:41,821 --> 00:05:44,517
One, two, three.
One, two...

71
00:05:47,727 --> 00:05:49,661
One, two, three.

72
00:05:49,729 --> 00:05:52,197
I think I'm getting the knack of it.
[Laughs]

73
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,736
Timber!

74
00:06:02,809 --> 00:06:04,800
Herman...
[Harp Thrums]

75
00:06:08,515 --> 00:06:10,642
You know something, Lily,

76
00:06:10,717 --> 00:06:13,242
I just got a new respect
for Lawrence Welk.

77
00:06:15,088 --> 00:06:17,784
Marilyn, Eddie!
What happened?

78
00:06:17,857 --> 00:06:20,348
Come and help
your Uncle Herman.

79
00:06:20,427 --> 00:06:22,361
Careful.

80
00:06:23,363 --> 00:06:25,297
[Exhales]

81
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,128
Listen, Lily.
They're playing our song.

82
00:06:31,371 --> 00:06:33,305
Ah!

83
00:06:33,373 --> 00:06:37,173
If that Herman wants to dance,
I'll mix him something
that'll make him dance.

84
00:06:37,243 --> 00:06:40,371
Ho, ho! Now, let me see.
Ah, yes, now I know.

85
00:06:41,681 --> 00:06:43,706
A little potassium.

86
00:06:43,783 --> 00:06:46,513
?? [Humming]

87
00:06:46,586 --> 00:06:48,816
A pinch of chlorophyll.

88
00:06:51,991 --> 00:06:54,585
Two fingers of Geritol.

89
00:06:56,730 --> 00:06:58,664
A dash of bitters.

90
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,660
And now for the secret ingredient!

91
00:07:05,472 --> 00:07:08,566
A pair of Fred Astaire's
dancing shoes.

92
00:07:10,043 --> 00:07:12,603
[Shoes Tapping, Shuffling]

93
00:07:14,681 --> 00:07:16,672
Go, Fred, go.

94
00:07:18,051 --> 00:07:19,985
Grandpa?

95
00:07:22,856 --> 00:07:27,156
Grandpa, are you
making lasagna again?
You're smelling up the whole house.

96
00:07:28,962 --> 00:07:33,763
No, as a matter of fact, I'm whipping up
a batch of my secret dancing potion.

97
00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:36,768
This will make you
a wonderful dancer.

98
00:07:36,836 --> 00:07:39,999
No, sir. I'm not drinking
anything you mix up.

99
00:07:40,073 --> 00:07:43,736
Okay. Go to
the parents' night dance.

100
00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:46,745
Disgrace poor Marilyn.
Make a fool of yourself.

101
00:07:46,813 --> 00:07:50,271
I'm not gonna
disgrace anybody.
Listen to this.

102
00:07:50,350 --> 00:07:52,841
I found an ad in the newspaper,
and they're gonna make me...

103
00:07:52,919 --> 00:07:55,615
an accomplished ballroom dancer
in three easy lessons.

104
00:07:57,257 --> 00:07:59,748
Listen:
"Happyland Ballroom.

105
00:07:59,826 --> 00:08:03,455
"Fox-trot, tango, samba, watusi.
All the latest steps.

106
00:08:03,530 --> 00:08:06,226
"Gain poise, popularity.
Make friends.

107
00:08:06,299 --> 00:08:08,324
Free trial lesson.
Private and group rates. '"

108
00:08:08,401 --> 00:08:10,869
Herman, listen to me.

109
00:08:10,937 --> 00:08:13,599
There are plenty
of good dancing schools,

110
00:08:13,673 --> 00:08:16,301
but you gotta watch out
for the shysters.

111
00:08:16,376 --> 00:08:18,401
Shysters?

112
00:08:18,478 --> 00:08:20,810
Uh, but look what it says...

113
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:24,577
"Let us bring out the inner you
at our low monthly rates."

114
00:08:24,651 --> 00:08:29,179
And it's signed,
"Happy Havemeyer,
Doctor ofTerpsichore."

115
00:08:30,290 --> 00:08:32,656
Okay. If that's
what you want to do.

116
00:08:32,725 --> 00:08:38,163
That's exactly what I want to do.
I'm going to go down there
and sign up first thing in the morning.

117
00:08:38,231 --> 00:08:40,199
Hm.

118
00:08:40,266 --> 00:08:42,234
Hm!

119
00:08:48,975 --> 00:08:52,638
All right, fine.
Yes, that'll be okay.
Bye-bye.

120
00:08:54,414 --> 00:08:56,644
Miss Valentine,
if you would.

121
00:08:59,319 --> 00:09:01,253
Miss Valentine,

122
00:09:01,321 --> 00:09:05,724
since you're a new instructor
here at Happyland, I'd like to
acquaint you with our policy.

123
00:09:05,792 --> 00:09:08,192
Most of our clients are older people,

124
00:09:08,261 --> 00:09:11,196
misfits, widowers,
people searching for friendship.

125
00:09:11,264 --> 00:09:14,893
Some are rather bewildered,
and they come to us looking for guidance.

126
00:09:14,968 --> 00:09:16,993
We have a definite approach
to these folks.

127
00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:20,938
- What's that, Doctor?
- We take 'em for all they've got.

128
00:09:22,141 --> 00:09:24,075
Uncle Herman left early,
didn't he?

129
00:09:24,143 --> 00:09:27,977
Yes, the sweet thing went downtown
to take dancing lessons.

130
00:09:28,047 --> 00:09:31,414
He's so anxious
to make a good impression
at the parents' night dance.

131
00:09:31,484 --> 00:09:34,248
I'm surprised that he never learned
to dance when he was younger.

132
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:38,154
Well, when other young men
were going to parties and dances,

133
00:09:38,224 --> 00:09:40,715
I'm afraid he was always tied up
in the laboratory.

134
00:09:42,462 --> 00:09:45,920
You know, they have
women teachers down
at those dancing schools.

135
00:09:45,999 --> 00:09:50,265
I just hope one of them
doesn't fall in love with
your Uncle Herman's gentle charms.

136
00:09:50,336 --> 00:09:54,272
[Screams]
Doctor Havemeyer.!
Doctor Havemeyer.!

137
00:09:54,340 --> 00:09:58,504
Calm down, Miss Valentine.
What happened?

138
00:09:58,578 --> 00:10:02,207
Well, l-I know you said
there'd be a lot of weirdos
and misfits around here,

139
00:10:02,282 --> 00:10:05,547
but you should've seen
what just walked in
and wanted to take dancing lessons.

140
00:10:05,618 --> 00:10:08,746
You gotta see him!
Now, now. There's no need
for me to see him.

141
00:10:08,821 --> 00:10:10,914
Didn't I tell you
to expect all kinds?

142
00:10:10,990 --> 00:10:14,289
Now, you get back in there,
turn on the charm.

143
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,193
Flatter him. Tell him
how great a dancer he is.

144
00:10:17,263 --> 00:10:21,063
And then when you got him hooked,
get him to sign our 10-year contract.

145
00:10:21,134 --> 00:10:24,900
[Chuckles]
Well, I'll try.

146
00:10:24,971 --> 00:10:28,600
It's times like this I wish I'd stayed
with the Roller Derby.

147
00:10:30,009 --> 00:10:32,944
Oh, there you are, miss.

148
00:10:33,012 --> 00:10:36,709
Was there some emergency?
You left here so fast,
I thought the place was on fire.

149
00:10:36,783 --> 00:10:38,944
[Laughs]
No such luck.

150
00:10:39,018 --> 00:10:41,350
Well, shall we start?
Alrighty.

151
00:10:42,622 --> 00:10:44,647
?? [Jazz]

152
00:10:44,724 --> 00:10:46,817
Uh, excuse me.

153
00:10:51,397 --> 00:10:55,891
Yeah, that's better.
Now, the first thing you have to do
is put your arm around me.

154
00:10:56,903 --> 00:10:58,837
Oh, uh...

155
00:11:03,476 --> 00:11:05,637
I saw Robert Montgomery
do that once.

156
00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:09,507
Ready?
Ready.

157
00:11:09,582 --> 00:11:11,812
And... one...

158
00:11:11,884 --> 00:11:17,186
And... one and two
and one and two.

159
00:11:17,256 --> 00:11:19,417
And three and four.

160
00:11:19,492 --> 00:11:23,155
Now one and two
and three and four...

161
00:11:23,229 --> 00:11:26,926
and one and two
and three and four.

162
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:30,128
Tell me, Mr. Munster,
have you ever danced professionally?

163
00:11:30,203 --> 00:11:32,831
Professionally?
Heavens no!

164
00:11:32,905 --> 00:11:35,840
I would have
never known.

165
00:11:35,908 --> 00:11:37,842
Really?

166
00:11:37,910 --> 00:11:40,105
[Laughs]

167
00:11:42,715 --> 00:11:45,775
[Herman]
Yoo-hoo, Lily. I'm home.

168
00:11:45,852 --> 00:11:48,844
Oh, welcome home, dear.

169
00:11:52,025 --> 00:11:55,825
Well, how did my sweetheart
make out at dancing class?

170
00:11:55,895 --> 00:11:59,262
How did I make out?
I made out just beautifully, Lily.

171
00:11:59,332 --> 00:12:03,792
Miss Valentine said
after just one lesson,
I was a natural born dancer.

172
00:12:03,870 --> 00:12:07,704
She's never seen such a talent.
Oh, that's wonderful!

173
00:12:07,774 --> 00:12:10,538
I just know that when I
dance with you at the ball,

174
00:12:10,610 --> 00:12:13,078
every eye in the room
will be on us.

175
00:12:13,146 --> 00:12:16,081
And, Lily, Miss Valentine
said that Dr. Havemeyer...

176
00:12:16,149 --> 00:12:19,312
might even make me a teacher
after a few more lessons.

177
00:12:19,385 --> 00:12:21,148
A teacher!

178
00:12:21,220 --> 00:12:24,246
And, Lily, I was reading today
in a fan magazine...

179
00:12:24,323 --> 00:12:28,623
You know, that's the way
Gene Kelly started out...
as a dancing teacher.

180
00:12:28,694 --> 00:12:30,958
Then he starred in Pal Joey,

181
00:12:31,030 --> 00:12:33,863
then he was a big smash
in For Me and My Gal,

182
00:12:33,933 --> 00:12:37,266
and then there was
Gene's biggest hit,
Singing in the Rain.

183
00:12:37,336 --> 00:12:42,740
? I'm singing in the rain
just singing in the rain?

184
00:12:42,809 --> 00:12:46,870
? What a glorious feeling
I'm happy again?

185
00:12:46,946 --> 00:12:50,814
? I'm laughing at clouds?
[Laughs]

186
00:12:50,883 --> 00:12:53,317
? So dark up above?

187
00:12:53,386 --> 00:12:57,117
? The sun's in my heart
and I'm ready for love??

188
00:12:57,190 --> 00:13:00,023
[Laughs]

189
00:13:00,093 --> 00:13:02,027
[Harp Thrums]

190
00:13:02,095 --> 00:13:05,189
Marilyn, Grandpa.
Come on.

191
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:10,692
Oh, boy. He's got
his head in the harp again.

192
00:13:10,770 --> 00:13:13,796
[Caws]
What a crack-up.!

193
00:13:14,807 --> 00:13:17,935
Please, watch the face.
I'm gonna be a star.

194
00:13:21,214 --> 00:13:25,412
?? [Jazz]

195
00:13:45,638 --> 00:13:48,300
[Laughing]

196
00:13:51,577 --> 00:13:54,205
?? [Ends]

197
00:13:56,716 --> 00:14:00,208
Mr. Munster!
Mr. Munster!

198
00:14:01,220 --> 00:14:04,451
What is it?
The music has stopped.

199
00:14:04,524 --> 00:14:06,651
Don't bring me back now.
I'm too far out!

200
00:14:06,726 --> 00:14:09,524
Oh, Mr. Mun...
Man, it's wig city!

201
00:14:10,763 --> 00:14:13,994
Please, Mr. Munster. Please.

202
00:14:14,066 --> 00:14:16,330
Your lesson is over
for this evening.

203
00:14:16,402 --> 00:14:20,771
However, Dr. Havemeyer
would like you to sign up
for a special course.

204
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:25,106
It's inexpensive and the lessons
extend over a 10-year period.

205
00:14:25,178 --> 00:14:27,476
Really?
Am I that good?

206
00:14:27,547 --> 00:14:30,209
Oh, yes. You're marvelous!

207
00:14:30,283 --> 00:14:32,513
Wheeee!

208
00:14:32,585 --> 00:14:36,578
Sit down right here,
and I'll get you the papers to sign.

209
00:14:36,656 --> 00:14:39,989
[Breathing Heavily]
Catch your breath.

210
00:14:40,059 --> 00:14:42,050
They're, um...

211
00:14:42,128 --> 00:14:45,894
They're all stapled together,
so you don't have to bother
to read the fine print.

212
00:14:46,966 --> 00:14:48,934
Thank you.

213
00:14:52,171 --> 00:14:54,105
That's very thoughtful of you.

214
00:15:00,313 --> 00:15:03,544
Hey, Mom, can I take Spot
to school with me today?

215
00:15:03,616 --> 00:15:05,709
Not today, Eddie.
Spot's being punished.

216
00:15:05,785 --> 00:15:09,152
He got out last night and ate
all the neighbor's trash cans.

217
00:15:10,656 --> 00:15:12,590
Morning, all.
Hi.

218
00:15:12,658 --> 00:15:15,252
Morning, Lily.
Good morning, dear.

219
00:15:15,328 --> 00:15:18,991
Morning, Herman.
Uh, how's Gene Kelly this morning?

220
00:15:19,065 --> 00:15:24,196
Couldn't be better.
The dancing school is signing me up
to a 10-year contract.

221
00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:28,138
Marilyn, you're gonna be
very proud of your Uncle Herman
at the dance Saturday night.

222
00:15:28,207 --> 00:15:30,835
Your lunch pail's
all packed, dear.
And here's your breakfast.

223
00:15:30,910 --> 00:15:33,435
Oh, thank you.
[Car Horn Honks]

224
00:15:33,512 --> 00:15:36,675
Oh, there's the carpool.
I'd better run.

225
00:15:56,269 --> 00:16:02,230
Wrong? It's this contract
that Herman signed
with the dancing school.

226
00:16:02,308 --> 00:16:06,972
He signed a 10-year contract
for 1,500 lessons...

227
00:16:07,046 --> 00:16:10,379
at 750 a lesson!
Why, that's...

228
00:16:10,449 --> 00:16:12,417
11,250.

229
00:16:12,485 --> 00:16:15,716
Thank you, Eddie.
And that's only the beginning.

230
00:16:15,788 --> 00:16:18,882
There's more?
More?

231
00:16:18,958 --> 00:16:22,553
A life insurance policy
naming the school as benefiiciary.

232
00:16:22,628 --> 00:16:26,394
In case of default,
a garnishee on Herman's salary.

233
00:16:26,465 --> 00:16:30,925
A lien on his home.
An attachment on his automobile.

234
00:16:32,204 --> 00:16:35,002
And in case of any legal action,

235
00:16:35,074 --> 00:16:38,908
a waiver of all his rights
as an American citizen.

236
00:16:38,978 --> 00:16:40,605
What are we going to do, Grandpa?

237
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,581
Well, we just can't let him
know he's been taken.

238
00:16:43,649 --> 00:16:47,141
Poor dear is so sensitive,
he's liable to go right into his shell.

239
00:16:47,219 --> 00:16:50,677
His shell? What did you marry,
a man or a lobster?

240
00:16:50,756 --> 00:16:54,886
Oh, Grandpa. We'll just have to
think of some other way.

241
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,019
Oh, Lily. Forget it.

242
00:16:57,096 --> 00:16:59,656
Lily, I got it. I got it.
I'll take care of it.

243
00:16:59,732 --> 00:17:01,666
Now, the first thing I'll do,

244
00:17:01,734 --> 00:17:03,759
I'll turn that whole school
into a swamp.

245
00:17:03,836 --> 00:17:08,068
Then I'll turn the owner into a frog.
Then I'll turn all the other teachers
into lizards.

246
00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:12,770
I'll turn myself Into an alligator.
A hungry alligator.
Then I'll start eatin' my way...

247
00:17:12,845 --> 00:17:17,009
Oh, stop it, Father.
This is no time to be
thinking of your pleasures.

248
00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:21,281
Aw, gee, Mom. You never let Grandpa
have any fun anymore.

249
00:17:21,354 --> 00:17:23,288
Never you mind, Eddie.

250
00:17:23,356 --> 00:17:25,517
We Munsters
are law-abiding citizens,

251
00:17:25,591 --> 00:17:27,923
and we're going to call
the police right now.

252
00:17:27,993 --> 00:17:31,485
Well, you better hurry. Herman's
got another lesson tonight.

253
00:17:35,501 --> 00:17:38,163
Right. I gotcha.
Okay. Bye-bye.

254
00:17:39,305 --> 00:17:41,466
Miss Valentine,

255
00:17:41,540 --> 00:17:45,408
I just got an inside tip
that the cops are going to
run an investigation on us.

256
00:17:45,478 --> 00:17:49,608
Look, what they usually do is
they get an investigator
to pose as a student.

257
00:17:49,682 --> 00:17:52,981
Some clod who acts like he can't
get out of his own way.

258
00:17:53,052 --> 00:17:57,079
And when he gets the evidence on us...
Wham! Out come the handcuffs.

259
00:17:57,156 --> 00:18:00,648
[Herman]
Yoo-hoo.! Uh, Miss Valentine?

260
00:18:00,726 --> 00:18:02,887
Twinkletoes is here!

261
00:18:02,962 --> 00:18:05,089
I'll be right there.!

262
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:09,625
If you think that the...

263
00:18:12,371 --> 00:18:16,068
Look, Dr. Havemeyer.
Speaking of clods who
can't get out of their own way,

264
00:18:16,142 --> 00:18:18,110
I think the police
are onto us already.

265
00:18:18,177 --> 00:18:22,841
- What do you mean?
- You know that student we signed up
to the 10-year contract yesterday?

266
00:18:22,915 --> 00:18:25,645
I didn't think he was for real
from the beginning.

267
00:18:25,718 --> 00:18:28,949
Yeah? I'd better
have a look at him.

268
00:18:31,290 --> 00:18:33,485
?? [Jazz]

269
00:18:47,239 --> 00:18:49,207
Wow.

270
00:18:49,275 --> 00:18:51,835
That's the weirdest disguise
I've ever seen.

271
00:18:51,911 --> 00:18:53,845
The cops are really
reaching this time.

272
00:18:53,913 --> 00:18:56,905
He looks like a cross between
Little Abner and Ramses II.

273
00:18:56,982 --> 00:18:59,951
What do we do now, Doctor?
We take desperate measures.

274
00:19:00,019 --> 00:19:01,953
We turn honest.

275
00:19:02,021 --> 00:19:03,989
We tell him after
analyzing his dancing,

276
00:19:04,056 --> 00:19:08,049
we find out that he
has absolutely no talent,
and we're refunding his money.

277
00:19:10,863 --> 00:19:15,300
But, Dr. Havemeyer,
M-M-Miss Valentine,

278
00:19:15,367 --> 00:19:18,063
y-you must be kidding me.

279
00:19:18,137 --> 00:19:22,574
I'm afraid not, Mr. Munster.
You mean I won't
be a dancing teacher?

280
00:19:22,641 --> 00:19:26,441
No. Upon analysis, we find your dancing
to be crude and awkward.

281
00:19:26,512 --> 00:19:28,912
And your coordination is atrocious.

282
00:19:28,981 --> 00:19:31,541
You have absolutely no sense of rhythm.

283
00:19:31,617 --> 00:19:33,676
But I wanna be a teacher,

284
00:19:33,752 --> 00:19:36,687
and maybe get to Broadway,

285
00:19:36,755 --> 00:19:38,814
and then get to Hollywood,

286
00:19:38,891 --> 00:19:43,089
and become a big dancing star
like Gene Kelly.

287
00:19:43,162 --> 00:19:49,032
And get to meet people like
Kirk Douglas and Nick Adams
and all those big shots.

288
00:19:49,101 --> 00:19:52,468
I'm sorry. It is our decision
to return your money,

289
00:19:52,538 --> 00:19:55,268
tear up your contract
and discontinue your lessons.

290
00:19:55,341 --> 00:19:57,275
But you can't do that.

291
00:19:59,111 --> 00:20:02,080
I mean, I promised to go
to parents' night with my niece...

292
00:20:02,147 --> 00:20:06,481
and do the fox-trot
and the bunny hop.

293
00:20:06,552 --> 00:20:09,350
Well, now I'll just look
silly and stupid.

294
00:20:09,421 --> 00:20:13,551
I don't wanna look
stupid and silly.

295
00:20:13,626 --> 00:20:15,924
I don't want to. I don't want to.

296
00:20:15,995 --> 00:20:17,963
I don't want to!
I don't want to! I don't want to!

297
00:20:18,030 --> 00:20:20,021
I don't want to.! I don't want to.!

298
00:20:21,934 --> 00:20:24,562
[Record Crashes]

299
00:20:26,138 --> 00:20:28,129
What do you think, Doctor?

300
00:20:28,207 --> 00:20:32,473
I think it's the greatest performance
by a policeman since Pat O'Brien.

301
00:20:33,479 --> 00:20:35,811
I told my date that
we'd meet him at the dance.

302
00:20:35,881 --> 00:20:37,815
Well, that's a good idea, Marilyn.

303
00:20:37,883 --> 00:20:41,114
The last time a young man
came to our house to pick you up,

304
00:20:41,186 --> 00:20:44,917
he had some sort of an attack
right on our front porch.

305
00:20:44,990 --> 00:20:47,982
Oh, I wonder if Uncle Herman
has the car out yet.

306
00:20:51,196 --> 00:20:53,221
Why, Herman, you're not
even dressed yet.

307
00:20:53,299 --> 00:20:55,767
Yes, Uncle Herman.
And we're due there now.

308
00:20:55,834 --> 00:20:58,769
I'm sorry, girls.
I'm not going.

309
00:20:58,837 --> 00:21:02,671
Not going? But we've been
looking forward to this all week,

310
00:21:02,741 --> 00:21:04,902
and you took
all those dancing lessons.

311
00:21:04,977 --> 00:21:07,878
And you brought that tuxedo home
from the parlor and everything.

312
00:21:07,947 --> 00:21:13,317
Well, Herman has
something to tell you about
the dancing school.

313
00:21:13,385 --> 00:21:17,822
Well, the truth is that last night,
they tore up my 10-year contract,

314
00:21:17,890 --> 00:21:21,553
gave me back the money
and told me to get lost.

315
00:21:21,627 --> 00:21:25,324
Oh, well, that was
just a phony school.

316
00:21:25,397 --> 00:21:28,366
W-Well, that doesn't matter.
W-What does matter is...

317
00:21:28,434 --> 00:21:32,803
they showed me that I must
face the truth about myself.

318
00:21:32,871 --> 00:21:37,433
And I realize that when you
add it up on the scoreboard of life,

319
00:21:37,509 --> 00:21:41,639
Herman Munster is just
a big, awkward clod.

320
00:21:42,681 --> 00:21:46,139
Oh, darling,
you are not at all.

321
00:21:46,218 --> 00:21:51,622
Well, uh, be that as it may,
l-I want you to go to the dance, Lily,
and you, Marilyn,

322
00:21:51,690 --> 00:21:53,715
and enjoy yourselves...

323
00:21:53,792 --> 00:21:57,250
amidst the lights
and the music and the gaiety.

324
00:21:57,329 --> 00:21:59,820
But, pussycat...
No, no. No, no.

325
00:21:59,898 --> 00:22:03,857
Lily, I want you to go.
L-I insist.

326
00:22:03,936 --> 00:22:06,837
And, uh, if, during the evening,
some attractive gentlemen...

327
00:22:06,905 --> 00:22:09,897
comes up to you
and asks you to dance,

328
00:22:09,975 --> 00:22:12,705
I want you to feel free to accept.

329
00:22:12,778 --> 00:22:16,874
And, uh, while you're dancing,
and he's holding you tight,

330
00:22:16,949 --> 00:22:19,474
I don't want you
to give one moment's thought...

331
00:22:19,551 --> 00:22:21,712
to your faithful husband
sitting here alone...

332
00:22:21,787 --> 00:22:25,814
with his shriveled-up
old father-in-law.

333
00:22:25,891 --> 00:22:28,257
Herman, you're all heart.

334
00:22:28,327 --> 00:22:30,352
Oh, but, Uncle Herman...

335
00:22:30,429 --> 00:22:35,059
No, no. Go... out the door
and don't look back.

336
00:22:36,268 --> 00:22:39,704
Well, all right, Herman,
if you insist.

337
00:22:39,772 --> 00:22:41,797
Come on, Marilyn.

338
00:22:44,043 --> 00:22:45,977
[Door Opens, Closes]

339
00:22:47,012 --> 00:22:50,470
You know, shrivel...
l-I mean, Grandpa...

340
00:22:50,549 --> 00:22:53,882
it gives me a good feeling inside
knowing I did the right thing.

341
00:22:53,952 --> 00:22:56,785
[Caws]
What a cornball.!

342
00:22:58,590 --> 00:23:00,615
[Lily]
Owwww.!

343
00:23:00,693 --> 00:23:02,684
[Marilyn]
Grandpa, Herman.

344
00:23:02,761 --> 00:23:04,695
Aunt Lily fell on
the front porch.

345
00:23:04,763 --> 00:23:08,392
What happened?
Is she all right?
Well, I think she sprained her ankle.

346
00:23:08,467 --> 00:23:12,198
Oooh.! Oooh. Oooh.

347
00:23:12,271 --> 00:23:14,330
Just help me
to the sofa, Herman.

348
00:23:14,406 --> 00:23:16,670
I don't know
how it happened.

349
00:23:19,311 --> 00:23:22,439
Grandpa, wasn't that
noble of Aunt Lily?

350
00:23:22,514 --> 00:23:25,142
You mean about her
not making a fuss
about her ankle?

351
00:23:25,217 --> 00:23:27,515
Oh, no. Because she pretended...

352
00:23:27,586 --> 00:23:31,317
that she sprained her ankle
so she could stay home
with Uncle Herman.

353
00:23:32,958 --> 00:23:35,552
Oh, boy!

354
00:23:35,627 --> 00:23:38,926
This family's come a long way
from Transylvania...

355
00:23:38,997 --> 00:23:41,522
when we used to pound stakes
into each other.

356
00:23:48,674 --> 00:23:52,405
Now, Eddie, watch this.
Just watch this.

357
00:23:52,478 --> 00:23:57,438
Herman, what are you and Eddie
doing out here
in all this bright sunlight?

358
00:23:57,516 --> 00:23:59,575
Daddy's practicin' baseball.

359
00:23:59,651 --> 00:24:04,611
That's right, Lily.
There's a father and son
baseball game at Eddie's school,

360
00:24:04,690 --> 00:24:06,624
and I'm gonna be ready.

361
00:24:06,692 --> 00:24:10,788
I'm not gonna make a fool
of myself the way I did last week
at Marilyn's dance.

362
00:24:10,863 --> 00:24:13,093
Well, you be careful now, Herman.

363
00:24:13,165 --> 00:24:17,067
Lily, please.
This is my game.

364
00:24:18,070 --> 00:24:20,300
Just watch this.
[Laughs]

365
00:24:38,323 --> 00:24:40,314
Should I bring him
in the house, Mom?

366
00:24:40,392 --> 00:24:45,056
No, Eddie, just leave him there.
The carpool will be by
in 10 minutes to pick him up.